Remember your revelation.

I don't deserve this.
I can't wait 'til my Dad goes to work. I'm counting down the minutes. 55 to go! Then i'm going to climb into my car and drive somewhere and chain smoke my cigarettes.
Because. I don't deserve this. Whatever mistake I made, which was a mistake. There was no ill-intent. Whatever mistake I made, somebody who loved me, wouldn't punish me like this. It was only today, driving down my street, looking at all the houses with their beautiful christmas trees adorning the windowframes, that I realised. I'm missing Christmas. It's nearly a week away. And I can't even bring myself to think about it. To wrap. To write. To decorate. And that makes me feel so, incredibly sad.