And on. And on. And on.

I got all this stuff buzzing through my head and it's driving me insane so maybe if i empty it, i'll feel better.

I want to be thin. I need to work out. And I need to stop eating. I want to be thin and beautiful. I want everyone to stare at me and want to be me.
I want medication to sedate my head. I don't want to come off them at any point. I want the perfect medication. I want to erase what is left of my personality.
I want to work hard at uni and be a psychologist. I want to study buddhism and spirituality and conciousness and combine them all somehow in one huge massive interesting finale in a few years time.
I want to be pretty.
I want to get married.
I want to be loved. I don't want to be on my own anymore.
I want to die because all of these things are so daunting and impossible and I can't carry on with mediocre wins. I need something.
I want to have a million books and DVDs and display them in my house.
I don't want to make it past the end of the year.
I just want to be thin.
Must get rid of the new voice inside my head.
I must throw everything out. All of my things.
I want a clean slate.
I want to know the answers to all these questions that I have.
I want the questions to disappear.
Unattainable.
I want to go to sleep. Awake to another pointless day. Then end up back here tomorrow night doing the same old thing feeling the same old way and being able to congratulate myself that I made it through another waste of space day.
I'm wasting too much oxygen on this Earth. Too much space. Too many things I'm wasting. These all need to be passed onto someone more deserving. Too much stuff everywhere. I need to get rid of everything. I need to do something about it all. I hope I will.