A psychological nightmare

Oh God. Oh God.
Am I awake? Am I here? Am I real?
I can barely open my eyes. I'm so heavily sedated. I'm still 65% under.
Oh God thank you alarm. Thank you.

Quick. Write.

I'm throwing some sort of charity benefit. It starts off at a pub, somewhere. All my family are pitching in. There's bands. Everyone I know is there. Setting up. No, no wait. Before that. There's a party at my nan's house. I'm looking after Ben. He's tired, and we're trying to find somewhere for him to sleep, but all the beds are taken. Someone is having sex in one of them. In one of the corners of the room, there's a bird cage, with two mice in the bottom. The charity thing. Adam walks off and Ben follows him. They wont come back. I'm begging them. And they wont. Ben wont even talk me. I'm phoning. Tom, Tom goes with them. And he wont pick up. And then my Dad. And the woman. The woman she is. She is shouting. Screaming. She's trying to kill me. And so is my Dad. My family wont listen, I don't even think they can see me. I'm begging them. Just give me five minutes to pack a bag and i'll be gone and they'll never have to see me again. I'm begging them. I put Stella, in a handbag. A handbag i'd used the last time this happened with the reminents in. Fags. Sweets. A bottle of water. I have a cage. I put Joshua the hamster in it, and I grab my budgie. And I run. Someone is following me trying to stop me, but I keep screaming, there's no time, there's no time. I can't see, i'm crying, i'm crying. I'm looking at my Dad and begging him not to let me go, not to kill me, to turn on her and come with me but he's just staring at me blankly. I hug him and whisper in his ear, something like, 'i want you to remember every morning that you wake up what you did', and I run out the front door. And i'm runnning.

And I can't remember anymore. Oh God, thank you alarm. Sleep, you used to be my friend.