I threw my nice pretty phone on the ground because 'new slang' started to play. I don't like her. She's irrational and angry.
But what does she do? Send a straight up, 'i don't think it's good for us to see each other anymore', and get out there first. Games games games. I HATE GAMES. It's all about who wins. Despite the aftermath of despair and sadness and misery and regret.
Does she 'discuss'? Lay the heart out on the table, wait for him to pull the trigger, but at least she can live on knowing she tried her best.
Tell him to face that it's over. Wait for a while. Wait for him to miss her, even though, me and you both know that probably wont happen.
Or does she carry on this charade? Seeing him, kissing him, laughing with him, having an amazing time with him, just knowing it isn't going anywhere. Well, it either leads to him wanting her, or him leaving her stranded here forever with this broken heart.
HE IS NOT HIM.
I'm just so confused. I'm so confused. All I want is for me and him. Benjamin and Kimmi. I know how happy we make each other. And I know that right now, Benji has other things to think about. I'm just so scared that i'm gonna lose him. I couldn't bare to lose him. I don't know. I really don't know. My friends have all told me in their own way to give up but I can't. I won't.
If I lost like, one more point on my happiness SIM scale, I would butcher my arm so bad right now.
As Tom would say. 'FML'
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