House again. The place where it all begins, and the place where it all ends. My abyss of black as it were. My blind spot.
My head is still this carcus full of fast paced thought. I manage to relax a little in the presence of company, but on my own. Man.
Tommorrow. It is another day. Another day which I am sure will disappoint me. As long as I get my valium, I will be fine.
For now, i'm just going to take copius amounts of tablets, and get some so called rest. I wonder what it would be like to rest. It must be nice.
And to my friends. My friends who put their own needs aside to be with me right now when I really need you, oh how much I love you, and I promise to you that I'll be there when it is your time. Or rather, I hope and wish that you never feel this sadness.
I can't pray. I don't believe in 'him' anymore. Just as much as he doesn't believe in me.
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